Thoughts on Valentine's Day

I really don't get the whole depressed, wearing black, "Single's Awareness Day" thing. True, in the past I have exhibited behavior that would support a negation of the previous statement, but I feel like I've moved beyond that.

I may only be 19, but I've had alot og Valentine's Day. Some were shitty, spent crying myself to sleep at night because I felt like no one in the world would ever love me (albeit, I still have certian days that seem to consist of that very activity), and I've had some that left me with a glow on my face, box of chocolates, single red roses, and emotion-laden poems in my hands, feeling like the most special girl in the world.

To be honest, this year I don't have the energy to bust out any feminist rants on how Valentine's Day is a mass-produced holiday for the sole purpose of making others feel like crap, and niether do I have the energy to articipate in any grand romantic gesture. Basically, this Valentine's Day, I was perfectly satisfied with a valentine from my mom. And, coincidentally, Roxana's mom too.

I walked out of my dorm this morning to find the sidewalks covered in love messages for some girl named Lindsay. It made me happy. Good for her. She's loved. I went and bought a bagel and didn't dwell on the fact that no one wrote love messages in chalk for me. I don't need to. People focus too much on romantic love on Valentine's Day. Why can't we focus on love in general? Why can't the day being about my love for my roommate, my mom, my dad, my brother, my girlfriends, my guy friends, my Torrey group? I love them all, intensely. Why can't Valentine's Day be about them?

So I did. There are three girls in my life who bring me joy every day and make like worth living. Why can't the day be about them? The three of us got dressed up and went to Steamers, listened to jazz, chatted, ate desserts with alot of chocolate goo. We were very nearly the only people in the tiny club who were just out with each other, not a "significant" other. Why does a significant other have to be romantic? I don't get it.

Would I have liked a date for Valentine's Day? Sure. Am I going to wear black and cry about it? Hell no. It's the same thing with having a boyfriend. Yea, having a boyfriend would be nice, someone to hang out with, and love and all that. But am I going to stifle my life because I don't have one? I don't think so.

Maybe next year I'll have a date. Maybe next year I'll be sitting in Steamers in a pair of heels with a stupid smile on face trying to figure out how to trick the waiter into bringing us a mojito. Does it matter? Not so much.

Happy Valentine's Day.

P.S. Best thing about Valentine's Day with girlfriends: didn't wear a bra and didn't have to worry about it. : )