Mean Girls are not just a creation of Tina Fey

Here's what I discovered on this glorious, gloomy friday. I am physically incapable of being blatantly mean. I know this sounds like I'm just stroking my ego or something, but it's a serious problem.

You see, I was walking back from session and i realize that this girl who used to live on the floor last year was behind me. She hated me. She had absolutly no reason. But she did. She would hang out in our room all the time and just snarl at me and make fun of me. Pretty much, she is agreeably the most unbelieveable bitchy person I have ever met, and I have met alot of bitchy people.

Well.

So she is sauntering behind me, and I'm ready to slide my card to open the doors to Hope. I do so. Then a devious thought entered my head. What if i just let the door shut in her face, so she would have to slide her ID card to get in. It's retarded, but i hold the door open for everyone, so this little tidbit was particularly appealing. It was for all the times she glared at me at the sinks, ignored me when i would say hello to her, for all the times she let the door shut in my face and i would hear her laughing on the other side.

So the moment draws closer. She is about 10 steps behind me. I am prepared to walk without care into the lobby and let the door fall behind me, but in a moment of weakness, the edge of my finger caught the rim as i held the door for the girl who routinely belittled my existance.

In the Disney version of this story, the girl would turn to me, smile, and say thank you. We would strike up a conversation and become best friends and she would help me pick out my wedding china and possibly become my kid's godmother. Sadly, life is not Disney, to my great dissapointment, and she shoved past me.

This caused me to wonder why people are mean in the first place. You gain no pleasure out of it. You don't impress people with it or gain any more friends. You just make people feel bad and make yourself look like an ass.

So then I walked back to my room with my head down like Charlie Brown after being turned down by the little red-haired girl, except that my situation is nothing like that. I was hurt. I had rrached out, in a small, meager way, and was shot to the mud on the grounds of me just trying to be a good person. But I am not discouraged.

And so I dedicate this not-very-well-thought-out blog to this aformentioned girl. Get over yourself. That is all.